Hello world! It’s been a while since I posted here. I kinda lost interest and the world overtook some of my priorities.
Where do I begin. 2020 maybe, start of a new chapter for us, we moved to Karratha WA, at the start of the pandemic. No friends, new start. 1 week after I arrived we were welcomed by Cyclone Damien. We had no idea what to expect. Then covid started hitting the Pilbara which meant no school for my sister. Dad still at work and the same with mum. Wearing masks to get groceries incase you were hit with covid. Gathering supplies – masks, tests, anti bacterial wipes whatever to use to keep yourself safe. I can’t really remember much from the past 2 years it’s like a blur, all days sorta merged together. 2021 I started baby sitting a little fella after school which kept me occupied but by 2022 I was over it and overwhelmed and was ready to pursue something else. I started a course in Education Support but again mental health started to I think decline and I lost interest and I struggled doing it by myself and not having someone there to help. So I stopped. I got a job at Kmart. Made a few friends. Pop passed away in March I was home until the beginning of may. Gran flew back up with me and she had a holiday at Karratha. Saw Amy Shark, and Louis Tomlinson June/July. Then I was hit with covid then mum and dad. Mid August we decided to move back to Cummins. It was a very stressful few weeks getting everything sold, packed and ready to go begin moving back home. I transferred to Port Lincoln Kmart and I wasn’t really enjoying it there. I then got offered a Job at Cummins IGA and been there since Jan.
While this was happening Mums health was slowly declining. She was hospitalised for mental health issues and I really struggled with this.( I will not talk about Mums experience if she wants to talk about it she will. But I will only explain the situation I experienced). I hated not having my Mum home, my rock, my person. I didn’t know what to do. How to help her, and I didn’t know WHEN. Which then I saw my anxiety getting worse and my depression coming back. It’s been a hectic 2 months trying to get back on track. Seeing a Psychiatrist, a Psychologist, loads of Doctor appointments new doses, coming off medication, starting different medication and new diagnosis. It’s been a hard couple of months trying to get better while having to still work, help around the house and still having a social life. Adulting is hard. But it’s life.
I need to remember I am HUMAN. I am allowed to say NO and do things that make ME happy. Everyone goes through something that changes them and it may take a while to get better. And I know that because I’ve been here once before. Figuring out what I want to do, how to survive, earning enough to stay afloat. We all struggle and please do NOT COMPARE each others struggles because everyone is different, we all have our own spectrum of tolerances and we need to look after ourselves. if something is too much for someone please understand even though it might now be for you.
Now I’ve been waiting, changing and trying. Waiting to get better, changing medication and changing myself to get better and trying hard to stay afloat and alive while struggling with my mental health and understanding who I am. I may have new diagnosis – which I will talk about later – which I am trying to understand that this is who I am, and why I am a certain way as a person.
I don’t know what else to write at the moment I guess once I am ready to share more, I will.
All The Love -T 🌻
unspoken conversations by tayla eylward 